Bay Area Variety
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Some robots in Japan have to pay union dues
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Beethoven
Shamelessly Submitted by Mike Newell
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days
later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some
strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified,
the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent
close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from
the grave.
Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a
moment, and said, “Ah, yes, that’s Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, being played
backwards.” and the punch...
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Trim-A-Slab Makeover Your Driveway! www.Trim-A-Slab.com
Trim-A-Slab is a product made from exterior-grade materials designed to replace rotten or missing wood often  found in driveways and sidewalks over 5 years old. It offers many advantages over the tube-dispensed gooey stuff that has been about the only option available for years. Trim-A-Slab installs incredibly fast, looks great, and can be removed and replaced in case you need to run wires for outdoor lighting across your driveway. check out the video... |
Big Boots
sent by Carol Fjelsta
A Lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen. and the punch... |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
Always use a credit card when shopping online or by mail. Federal law allows you to refuse to pay the credit card bill if the goods are never delivered. |
The Bridge
sent by Mike Newell
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?' the punch... |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
Homeowner's insurance covers much more than you might think. Remember, insurance is a contractual agreement, so you must read it carefully. Was your computer, stereo, or other valuable possession stolen from your vehicle? Read your policy, you may be covered for this loss. learn more... |
 WHO ARE YOU? WHO, WHO, WHO, WHO?
Whether you are a multinational corporation or a one-person home-based business, your brand says a lot about you and your company. It can help set you apart from the competition and form the groundwork for future growth. Your brand is more than just a logo on your letterhead and business cards. It is your identity, letting the world know who you are, what you do, and how you do it.
keep reading... |
The Afterlife
Sent by Carol Fjelsta
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform
the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was
no afterlife at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his
word, he made the first contact:
the punch... |
Hey I won Peoples Choice at the Men Who Cook Event. So you know they gotta be good!
I was torn between 2 very simple and tasty appetizers served by 2 very lovely ladies. 1 is a veggy lover, the other a meat-eater. I figured by preparing both I couldn’t go wrong! check them out... |
Why I Fired My Secretary
Submitted by Melissa Delflora
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday." and the punch... |
Hang Up and Drive
Submitted by Robin Stowe of White Knight Technologies
This morning on the interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face next to her rear view mirror puttingon her eyeliner. I looked away for a couple of seconds... and the punch... |
 The Parrots
Submitted by Joe Killingsworth of Floors Today
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem.
I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say? " the priest inquired.
They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?" and the punch... |
St. Peter and the Cowboy
Submitted by Carol Fjelsta
A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. 'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked.
'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered.
'On a trip to the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. and the punch... |
Flooding in Ireland
sent by Paul Marx
Dear friends, I feel the need to use all my vacation time to go and personally help where I can, and will be taking donations to aid in airfare .
If this doesn't tug at your heart strings nothing will. We've all seen the faces of those ravaged by the floods of Sri Lanka and New Orleans and recently in Nashville. and the punch... |
"Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?"
The main purpose of your navigation is to get your customers to the information they want quickly and easily. For this reason, it is important that you keep the 3-click rule in mind. This rule says that all pages on your site should be accessible within 3 clicks of the homepage. If you think about it, this makes sense; rarely do we make it to the 4th page of a search engine. We just aren't patient enough. Instead, if we don't find what we are looking for on the first 3 pages, we refine our search and simply start over. Imagine what this means for the staying power of your site. If your visitors get impatient, they are off to another site to become their customers instead. keep reading... |
St. Peter
Submitted by Mike Newell
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get
there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on
the ducks!'
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their
best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains
them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend
eternity chained to this ugly man!' and the punch... |
The Bagpipe Player
Submitted by Carol Fjelsta
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back country.
As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. and the punch... |
Two Aussies
Submitted by Robin Stowe – White Knight Technologies
Two Aussies, Davo and Johnno, were adrift in a lifeboat. While
rummaging through the boat's provisions, Davo stumbled across
an old lamp. He rubbed the lamp vigorously and a genie came forth.
This genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one
wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter, Davo blurted out,"Turn the entire ocean into beer. Make that Victoria Bitter!" and the punch... |
Fertility & The Elderly
Submitted by Paul Anthony
With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.
'May I see the new baby?' I asked 'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.' and the punch... |
Old Age Is Not For Sissies!
Submitted by Carol Fjeslst
The boss walked into the office one morning not
knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant
walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house,
did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd
closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the
question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed
his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his
assistant's question about his 'garage door.' and the punch... |
One Hundred Years of Service and Joy: Happy Birthday, Mrs. Mae Harper
Mrs. Mae Harper will be celebrating her 100th birthday on June 17th, 2010. Mrs. Harper, who currently resides with her son, William and his wife Joyce, has had an amazingly long life. But, more importantly, it has been a life of service to her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Born, June 17th, 1910 in Saratoga, Texas, Mae came to know Christ as a child. According to her son, William, as a young woman Mae was valedictorian of the first class to graduate from Baytown High School. read on...
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A Memorable Memorial Day
My weekend was significant for a couple of big reasons. Two events came together to make for a very memorable Memorial Day weekend, for me and my family. the rest... |
 Gold Medal Winner Heading to Junior Olympics – League City
Daryl Johnston, 14 years old and a League City resident, recently won the Gold for Power Tumbling in both Regional and State competitions; events affiliated with the USA Gymnastics.
Daryl will be representing the Bay Area and the state of Texas at the upcoming Junior Olympics, during the last week in June, at Virginia Beach, Virginia. Daryl started competing at age 11.
check it out... |
Keep it Super Simple (KISS)
Ever heard the old adage, why mess with a good thing? Well, that’s certainly true when it comes to the layout of your website. Your customers don’t want to spend a lot of time trying to look for information on your site. There are certain things they expect, and if you want them to stick around, you really need to meet those expectations.
Keep reading … |
Nothing going right?
Submitted by Robin Stowe
A little guy is sitting at the bar staring at his drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as the little guy bursts into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, " I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."
and the punch... |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
Federal law allows you to withhold payment from your credit card company if the goods you purchase never arrive. But you must act quickly. Under the law, you must dispute your bill within 60 days of when it is sent. Wait too long and you lose you rights! click here for more... |
Harmful Foods
Submitted by Ed Schine
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa ... 'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining... Chinese food is loaded with MSG.
High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. and the punch... |
Public Service Announcement
Submitted by Jim Erdman
To all my friends who enjoy a glass of wine...
And those who don't and are always seen with a bottle of water in their hand.
As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom, In beer there is freedom, In water there is bacteria. and the punch... |
The $20 Dream
Submitted by Carol Fjelsta
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when Steven, a tall, exceptionally handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.
This seasoned yet playful heartthrob noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As any man would.) Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00... On one condition..." and the punch... |
Boudreaux and Marie
Submitted by Melissa Lancon
Boudreaux and Marie went to the same Church. Marie went every Sunday and taught Religion class. Boudreaux went on Christmas and Easter and, once in a while, he went on one of the other Sundays.
On one of those Sundays, he was in the pew right behind Marie and he noticed what a fine looking woman she was. While they were taking up the collection, Boudreaux leaned forward and said, "Hey, Marie, how about you and me go to dinner at Tee Joe's next Friday?" "Yah, Boudreaux, dat would be nice," said Marie.and the punch... |
Prom and Graduation! Let the Celebrations Begin
As the school year comes to an end and the celebrations begin, many parents rightfully worry about the safety of their children. But instead of worrying or trying to reduce underage access to alcohol, an increasing number of parents are actually supplying alcohol for teenagers. Some have the mistaken belief that it is a safer option for their kids to drink alcohol at home than to drink it somewhere else. Other parents may regard it as a normal “rite of passage” or that these are special occasions where it is okay for alcohol to be served to youth. more info... |
John O’Reilly
Submitted by Karen Campbell
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!'
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.'
She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?'
John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.' and the punch... |
MEN!!!!
Submitted by Mary Proudy
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied..'What does it say on your shirt?' and the punch... |
Landscaping
Submitted by an RN…no name
A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered .. .. . It was quickly determined that
the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it there was a tattoo that read . . .' Keep off the grass.' and the punch... |
2010 GCVA JUNIORS SUMMER SAND VOLLEYBALL LEAGUE and Competitive Beach Teams
The 2010 GCVA Summer Sand Volleyball Leagues will be starting in May at the League City Sports Plex. The GCVA Leagues run 6 weeks with teams playing back to back matches (4 Games) each league Night. This year we are offering: check it out... |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
How do you know if something is fact or "urban legend"? The next time someone tells you about an easy way to make a lot of money, get free gift certificates or secret codes for withdrawing money from an ATM, chain-letters that work, strange effects from everyday products, or anything else that just doesn't seem right, check it out Click here for more. http://www.snopes.com/snopes.asp |
Getting A Hairdryer Through Customs
Submitted by Carol Fjelsta
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest sitting beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"
"Of course child, what may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the customs limits. I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me...under your robe, perhaps?" and the punch ... |
Retirement
sent by Carol Fjelsta
Upon reaching 63, Cary decided to retire. After having him under foot for a few months, Elaine, his wife became very agitated with him. She suggested he go and do something to occupy his time, like join a club, get a job or get a hobby. and the punch... |
Fun Facts- True or False? You Tell Us
1. Budweiser beer conditions the hair
2. Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish
3. Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 minutes there's more... |
Ready, AIM, Fire
For your website to be effective, it must speak to your target market, the main audience that you want to have visit your website and benefit from your products and services. As a matter of fact, to be truly effective your website needs to speak to your ideal client. So, take a look at your current clients. Is there a particular group you prefer to work with? What qualities do they share? Do your best clients come from the same industry or profession? Do they own the same type of business? Do they share a particular personality trait or outlook on life, fall within a specific age range, live in a particular geographical location, or maintain a certain income level?
Keep reading … |
The Blind Cowboy
Submitted by Mike Newell
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He
finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, 'Hey, you wanna
hear a blonde joke?'
and the punch ... |
The Annual Checkup
I went to the doctor for my yearly physical.
The nurse started with certain basics.
"How much do you weigh?" she asked.
"135," I said.
The nurse put me on the scale.
It turns out my weight is 180.
and the punch ... |
80 Year Old Pearland Resident New Drummer For The Band
 Mary Jo Wuenschel had one wish for her 80th birthday - to play drums in a concert with her children. That wish came true this weekend when Mary Jo was featured as the guest drummer for the Singing Wuenschels at Sacred Heart Church in Manvel, Texas. The concert was sponsored by the Youth of Sacred Heart and was attended by over 100 church members and friends.
read on ... |
Good Advice!
sent by John Fjelsta
His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport. Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'. The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off. Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.' and the punch... |
2010 Corona Light Wide Open To Roll Out in Nine Markets including GALVESTON TEXAS
Karch Kiraly to Serve as Chief Volleyball Officer for Nationwide Tour of Beach Volleyball Festivals. The Corona Light Wide Open, one of the nation's leading grassroots beach volleyball tours, will bring its popular beach volleyball festival to nine US cities in 2010, opening with a May 15-16 stop at South Beach Park in Ft. Lauderdale, Fla. there's more... |
An Italian Boy's Confession
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl'.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later
so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'
'I cannot say.' and the punch ... |
63 And Pregnant
sent by Carol Fjelsta
A woman went to the emergency room where she was seen by a young, new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant.
She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. After listening to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room. and the punch... |
Your Mission, Should You Decide to Accept It
Now that we have picked out the perfect domain (or hopefully domains), it is time to start thinking about your website. So, first things first. You need to define your purpose, what you want to achieve. You need to know why you are taking the time (and marketing dollars) to build a website. As in anything in life, if you don't have a clear and measurable goal, you can't be successful, so here is where it all begins.
Businesses (and individuals) build websites for many reasons:
- To communicate an image
- To sell a product or service Keep reading … |
Bill and Sam
Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Bill hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him. and the punch ... |
Proof that Men Have Better Friends
Submitted by Stephen Whynot
Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
and the punch ... |
AMOCO’s Great American Scratch Off Game – Bay Area
 Play AMOCO’s Great American Scratch Off game to reveal your winning loan rate discount. Then have fun shopping for the vehicle you’ll love!
During the month of February we are giving you the chance to win a special rate discount! That’s right. You could win a .25%APR, .50%APR, .75%APR, or even 1.00%APR discount off of our already as low as rates! This special offer applies to new, used or refinanced cars, trucks, SUVs, motorcycles, and recreational vehicles too! read on ...
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A New Pet
Submitted by Carol Fjelsta
A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.
So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.
After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, a 100-legged bug.
The centipede came in a little white box which he used as his house.
The single guy took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him.
So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to church with me today?
We will have a good time." and the punch ... |
Is commercializing NASA the right thing to do?
As a strong fiscal conservative, I was interested in the president’s proposal to turn over much of the work that NASA does to “commercial” interest. We all know that in almost every case, private industry can do things better, faster and cheaper than our federal government. But with NASA receiving about half of 1% of the federal budget, I really don’t see any big savings to the country. Given the fact that these commercial interests have never actually launched a rocket, I can’t imagine why we would even consider letting them launch our astronauts into space. read on... |
Extreme Builder Blu Shields Brings Kemah Family Back Home
Thanks so much to Change Magazine and Sue Mayfield-Geiger for allowing us to share this article on Blu Shields. Sue as a part of the Behind the Scenes team working on the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition project. She is also a personal friend of Blu's and was the best person to write an in depth article about this modest man; the builder behind the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition project in Kemah. The story... |
AMOCO’s Great American Scratch Off Game – Bay Area
Play AMOCO’s Great American Scratch Off game to reveal your winning loan rate discount. Then have fun shopping for the vehicle you’ll love!
During the month of February we are giving you the chance to win a special rate discount! That’s right. You could win a .25%APR, .50%APR, .75%APR, or even 1.00%APR discount off of our already as low as rates! This special offer applies to new, used or refinanced cars, trucks, suvs, motorcycles, and recreational vehicles too! read on ... |
February 13 – Soft Opening – Friendswood
REVIVE Provides Skin and Body Treatments that are healthy, healing, and rejuvenating. Therapeutic products and technology are used to
REVIVE Body, Mind and Spirit! All treatments are done in a very comfortable and soothing environment. Visit REVIVE yourself, learn more about skin care, treatments and products. check Laura's website www.RevivebyLaura.com |
But What Exactly is a Domain Name Anyway?
Now that we have established that everyone needs a website, let's jump right in. Ask any web developer and they will tell you, the first step is to register your domain name.
OK, but what exactly is a domain name? In technical terms, a domain name is an identifier that maps to an IP address on a web server. Wow! Maybe we should put that in terms we can all better understand.
To put it simply, a domain name is much like a telephone number.
Keep reading … |
Football Finally Makes Sense
Submitted by Karen Kessler
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” |
Pinky Goes to Auction
This past week was a long and emotional end to my journey with Pinky. At the show on Wednesday Pinky and I placed 7th in my weight class which wasn’t too good at all. I was really concerned about not making it to the auction because they only pick out a certain percentage of animals for the sale. We didn’t find out until the very end of the night if we made sale and it turns out, Pinky barely made it and she was one of the very last lots of the sale! I was really happy that we made it. there's more... |
Clear Lake Forest Polar Bear Club
 Sponsored by the Clear Lake Forest Homeowners Association. Brrrrrrr! 2010 had to be the coldest Polar Bear Dare yet! A brisk wind and overcast skies and a breath taking 55 degree water temperature. Once again hot chocolate, doughnuts and ice cream were served!! read on...
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What a Great Gift
Sondra gave me a gift certificate for spa treatment for Christmas. "Are you kidding me" wisely keeping that thought to myself I immediately tried to trade it back to her in the form of a "gift ticket". For that price I could get a power tool set. She insisted that I will need it after the Extreme Home thing. Well I used it this past Friday. read on... |
Father O'Malley
Submitted by Mike Getz
Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Washington DC parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of air and to see the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. and the punch... |
CCISD FFA Members get ready for Auction 
Today was quite a long day! We hadto transfer all the animals from the barn at Creek to the West barn off of Nasa Road 1. I got pretty upset while I was loading Pinky up on to the trailer because it’s just one step closer to the big day. After loading her up we had to take out all our equipment and then take down her sign, which broke my heart. Now she’s getting used to her new home for the next few days at the West barn. there's more... |
Cinnamon and Honey
Honey is the only food on the planet that will not spoil or rot. It will do what some call turning to sugar. In reality honey is always honey. However, when left in a cool dark place for a long time it will do what I rather call "crystallizing". When this happens I loosen the lid, boil some water, and sit the honey container in the hot water, turn off the heat and let it liquefy. It is then as good as it ever was. Never boil honey or put it in a microwave. To do so will kill the enzymes in the honey. there's more... |
Las Vegas Churches Accept Gambling Chips
Submitted by Kay Prettyman
This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas, but there are more Catholic churches than casinos.
Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings..and the punch! |
And the Count Down Really Begins
The market swine show will be next Wednesday, January 27th and the actual auction itself is the following day. This next week is going to be awfully busy as Pinky and I prepare ourselves for the show. I’ll be giving her baths probably everyday until the show, she has a haircut appointment this Wednesday, and me and her will be exercising and perfecting our teamwork in the arena all week as well. These past four months have absolutely flown by and I’ve learned so much. This has been such a great experience. Thanks everyone for keeping up with me and Pinky’s journey! I’ll be sure to let you all know how the show goes! there's more... |
Do I Need a Website?
Many businesses ask the question, do I need a website? My answer is uncategorically YES. Having a website online allows customers, potential employees, and business partners to quickly and easily find out more about your business products and services.
In the past, potential customers would use the Yellow Pages to search for a business in their area that provided a product or service they needed. But today, that same customer will use a search engine to find a list of businesses that meets their needs with instant access to a world of information about each of the businesses on the list. Keep reading … |
Chinese Sick Leave: 'I No Come Work Today!!!'
Submitted by Tina Erdman
Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.'
The boss John says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me Sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.'
and the punch ... |
Protect yourself against fraud.
A message brought to you by AMOCO Federal Credit Union
No one wants to be a victim of fraud. The best protection against many types of fraud and identity theft is knowledge. To help you prevent such types as identity theft, phishing, vishing, SMiShing, and skimming, AMOCO Federal Credit Union has compiled a list of resources that will help keep you up-to-date on the latest scams and provide you with the information you need to protect yourself and your money.
Take a moment to browse our website at www.AMOCOfcu.org, click the Online Services drop down box and select Safety & Security to better understand how you can protect yourself from this crime. |
Protect yourself against fraud. A message brought to you by AMOCO Federal Credit Union
No one wants to be a victim of fraud. The best protection against many types of fraud and identity theft is knowledge. To help you prevent such types as identity theft, phishing, vishing, SMiShing, and skimming, AMOCO Federal Credit Union has compiled a list of resources that will help keep you up-to-date on the latest scams and provide you with the information you need to protect yourself and your money. read on... |
West Bay Winter Trout
I’m sure you have heard mention of the first kid born in 2010. Big deal! I earned the title of cathin’ the first Winter Trout of 2010 (at least with Bay Bound Guide Service). Like us, Trout tend to fatten up over the holidays then pretend to make a resolution to exercise so they can lose that winter coat. NOT! Actually my friend Fred George and owner of Bay Bound Guide service delivered on a promise to take my son David and myself out fishing before David ships off to serve our country. I caught my just under 5lb trout with a plastic lure while drifting across West Bay in Galveston. there's more... |
Happy New Year everyoneeeeee! 
I wish you and your family a great new year! Nothing too exciting has been happening this past week. Pinky is weighing in at 160 pounds! I can’t believe how big she’s getting. The countdown for the CCISD Livestock Show and Auction has begun and only 28 days left. Me and Pinky will be working really hard these next few weeks and I’m going to be cherishing the time I have left with her. there's more... |
Receive Real Time Crime Statistic on Your iPhone for Free
League City iPhone users can now receive real time crime statistics on their phones for free. It is part of a web-based program accessible to the public called CrimeReports.com. The program publishes crime data from the League City Police Department’s databases as well as the databases of Webster, Alvin, Deer Park and other cities around the nation. The information is uploaded into an interactive mapping website. find out... |
TWO GUYS IN LOWE'S
by Thomas Warner
Two guys, one old timer and one young, are pushing their carts around Lowe's Building Supply when they collide. The old timer says to the young guy, 'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going'. and the punch... |
Effectively Protest Your Appraised Value 2010 Schedule of Classes
Protesting your property’s value is the most immediate form of tax relief according to Galveston County Tax Assessor Collector Cheryl E. Johnson. “The class provides all necessary information for you to be successful when presenting your case at the county appraisal district,” stated Johnson. learn more... |
Pinky Knows a Couple of Tricks
Happy Holidays!! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! I sure did. This break has been quite enjoyable and it’s given me a chance to spend lots of time with Pinky. There’s not a whole lot to talk about this week so we made a video last week so be sure to check it out! Have a happy and safe New Year! see some Pinky video... |
Little Johnny (again)
Carol Fjelsta
The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.' The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate, not fascinating'. and the punch... |
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition Registered Volunteers
Thank you to everyone who has signed up to volunteer their time and/or trade, skill, or services for the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition project coming to the Bay Area. This is a wonderful way to get involved in such a fantastic community effort. Please be on the lookout for future Etalk of the Bay Newsletters, as that is how we will communicate updated information about the project, such as location and times. more... |
 What a weekend, Pinky is a Winner!
This past Saturday we had another practice show for our livestock animals. I wanted Pinky to look her best so I woke up extra early and got to the barn at 7:00 a.m. so I had plenty of time before the show. I took the new things I learned from the last show and applied them to this one. The show goes something like this: They call your name and you walk your pig out of the pen and into the arena, from there, you continue to walk the pig throughout the arena along with everyone else and their pigs. The main goal is to impress the judge and show off your pigs best features. there's more... |
Tequila Christmas Cookies
Submitted by Era Lee Caldwell
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup or brown sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Tequila and the punch ... |
When Pigs get Hair Cuts
This was an emotional week. It started when I found out I had to give Pinky a hairc ut! Yes, a haircut! So I go to the barn to meet with my ag teacher, Mr. Peak, and we start shaving her hair off with a giant buzzer thingy and after a few minutes he leaves it up to me to finish the rest. Luckily, my awesome friend Erik was there to help me. We were in Pinky’s pen together, all three of us, trying to keep Pinky calm so we could shave her but she didn’t like one bit so it came down to the snare? Its basically this thick wire that wraps around the pigs snout and it gets them under control. read on... |
The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil
Submitted by Ron Yardley
Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class.
One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. 'Tell me Susie, who created the universe?'
When Susie didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear. and the punch ... |
One Stop Party Shop Holiday Tips
 This is more of a reminder than a tip…Test those Christmas light strings BEFORE you wrap them on your tree. We all know how frustrating and disappointing it is to see burned out lights.
For your holiday decorating pay a visit to One Stop Party Shop, you’ll get all sort of yummy decorating ideas.
And don’t forget about your 10% discount just by mentioning WIREDIN. |
The League City Volunteer Fire Department Calendar is HERE!
The LCVFD calendar is here and ready for sale. Get your now; it’s easy! more information ... |
Pinky is still doing great!
I thought this week I’d let y’all know my daily routine now that I have to take care of Pinky. Wake up at 6:00 a.m., get ready for school, go to the barn at  Clear Creek High School and feed Pinky, drive to Clear Springs High School, start school at second period (another benefit of being a senior, I don’t have a first period class ) student aid for the special ed class, LUNCH! Then I leave to help teach a 7th grade math class at Victory Lakes till about 3:00 p.m. After all of that, I usually head to the barn around 5:00 p.m. or so and I exercise her in the arena, clean out her pen, wash her (which can get very messy because she’s not a huge fan of baths) give her fresh food, tell her how much I love her and then I go home and go to bed. read the rest... |
Have a Green Holiday!
Have a green holiday! 'Tis the season for buying gifts and celebrating. It is also the season when we create some big unintended consequences on the environment. So please follow some simple tips to lessen your impact... and even do some positive things for Galveston Bay and the planet. |
One Stop Party Shop Holiday Tips
Use lots and lots of candles everywhere! Candlelight creates a warm and inviting ambiance. Concerned about kids and pets? Substitute battery operated votive and pillar candles for that warm, carefree glow.
For your holiday decorating pay a visit to One Stop Party Shop, you’ll get all sort of yummy decorating ideas.
And don’t forget about your 10% discount just by mentioning WIREDIN. |
A Couple Has A Dog That Snores
Annoyed because she couldn't sleep, the wife went to the vet to see if he could help... The vet told the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles, and he would stop snoring. 'Yeah right!' she said.
A few minutes after going to bed, the dog began snoring, as usual. The wife tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she went to the closet and grabbed a piece of red ribbon and tied it carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stopped snoring. The woman was amazed. and the punch ... |
All Points of Sail Sailing School at Lakeside - Sailing Tip of the Month
Remember, when you are preparing to jibe be sure to keep that mainsheet in a crew's hands, ready to trim the main. As your stern begins to pass through the wind try to stop at "6" and run awhile. Then get your crew ready, trim in and continue the jibe. Also, remember "Jibe Ho, Go Slow". |
Holiday Tips from One Stop Party Shop
Simplify your decorating ideas AND be nice to your pocketbook. Instead of running out and buying new china, glasses and silverware and then worrying about where to store everything…simply rent what you need. Prices are very reasonable at One Stop Party Shop and you’ll get a 10% discount off your holiday event rentals just by mentioning WIREDIN. |
Pinky n Haley
Never in a million years did I think I’d be only 17 with a baby already. It’s been just about two months since I was blessed with my baby. Her name is Pinky! She’s weighing in at about 115 pounds now, a big difference from the 37 pounds she weighed when I first got her. They grow so fast! I truly am getting a small dosage of what it’s like to be a mom… I find myself spending a lot of my time with feeding her, cleaning her pen, working her out, bathing her; it truly is a full time job and I’m learning a lot about responsibility. I’d like to thank my parents for spending the money and running to the barn for me when I don’t have time. there's more... |
Catholic Last Rites
Sent by Mary Proudy
A bus on a busy street struck a Catholic man. He was lying near death on the sidewalk as a crowd gathered."A priest. Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasped.Long seconds dragged on but no one stepped out of the crowd. and the punch... |
Black Friday Special
Finance a New or Used Auto with AMOCO Federal Credit Union November 23rd through the 30th and you’ll get: $500 CASH! Learn More ... |
Holiday Decorating Tips from One Stop Party Shop
Stick with the basics. Use one theme throughout your holiday decorating and keep your color palette down to 2-3 colors. This will help make your shopping much easier and your home looking professionally decorated.
At One Stop Party Shop we have everything you need to bring your decorating theme to life or we can help you create one.
Don’t forget about your 10% discount just by mentioning WIREDIN. take a peek ... |
The Nymphomaniac
Submitted by Kevin Lancom
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a breathtakingly beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston " and the punch ... |
Aging
Submitted by Carol Fjelsta
Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them,
“I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle.
If that ever happens, just pull the plug.” and the punch ... |
 AMOCO November Financial Tip
Prepare for the holidays! If you haven't saved money for holiday shopping, you may be tempted to dip into your emergency savings fund. But do holiday expenses really qualify as an emergency or unexpected expense? Not at all. The holiday season comes every year and at the same time each year, which is why you should always plan ahead. the rest... |
Milk Baths
Submitted by Irene Pavig
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake.
He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, 'I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?' and the punch... |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
Federal law prohibits a debt collector from calling you at work, but only after he knows your employer prohibits such calls. If a debt collector calls you at work, let him know that your employer does not allow such calls and that you assume he will never call again. If the debt collector calls back, he has violated federal law and you could be entitled to a penalty of up to $1,000. |
Billy Bob
Submitted by Don Dykstra
Betty Sue had died so Billy Bob called the funeral home to pick up the body.
The funeral director asked: "What's the address?" and the punch ... |
Bob
Submitted by Carol Fjelsta
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her young dutiful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. and the punch ... |
 League City Volunteer Fire Fighter Calendars are now on sale!
Order yours before October 31 and save $2 per calendar! Right now they are only $13 each (after November 1 they will be $15).
Proceeds from calendar sales will go directly to the LCVFD Relief Fund providing financial assistance to fire fighters injured in the line of duty. League City FD is comprised of approximately 150 volunteers. When injured fighting fires, these men and women must take time off from their paid jobs to recover from their injuries, at times resulting in a loss of income for the fire fighter and his or her family. The Relief Fund will assist the injured fire fighter alleviating financial concerns so he or she and focus on healing. find out more... |
A Gracious Ex
by Kathy Stoll
Amanda's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could damper her excitement - not even her parent's nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed Mother-of-the-Bride.
A week later, Amanda was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the EXACT same dress as her mother! Amanda asked her father's new wife to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not, I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it", she replied. and the punch... |
Bay Area Houston Economic Partnership Business Development Update is In
by Barbara Cutsinger
This is the report you want to read if you are interested in what retail shops, restaurants, and services that are coming our way. It's also a great way to find out about infrastructure, new streets, and road widening. check it out... |
 From the diary of a Pre-School Teacher
My five-year old students are learning to read. Yesterday one of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said, "Look at this! It's a frickin' elephant!" I took a deep breath, then asked...."What did you call it?" "It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture!" And so it does... " A f r i c a n Elephant " Hooked on phonics! Ain't it wonderful? Now that's funny, I don't care who you are. |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
Most negative information stays on your credit report for seven years, a bankruptcy for ten. The time is not extended, however, when the debt is sold or assigned to a new person such as a debt collector. If a debt collector tries to "re-age" a debt, tell the credit bureau and demand they correct the incorrect information. |
Ralph and Edna
sent by Tina Erdman
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable. and the punch... |
NEW- FREE Workshop: CLAW
The Arts Alliance Center of Clear Lake presents Clear Lake Area Writers is a writer's critique group. It meets the second and fourth Saturday from 10 am-noon each month to share work with other writers, getting constructive criticism from each other. Participants need not be professional writers, but fictional prose is preferred to other forms of writing; though all are welcome, writers and critics alike. If help is needed crafting a tale, please consider joining Clear Lake Area Writers. It is here to help. For more information, please contact Jacob Silvia at jacob.silvia@gmail.com . To follow the group's blog, which contains helpful information about the group, please go to http://clearlakeareawriters.blogspot.com. |
October Financial Tip
 Follow the challenge by implementing AMOCO Federal Credit Union’s monthly financial tips into your life. The reward will be huge – a better financial future for you and your family!
Step eight of building a better financial you: Understand mortgage loan options. Whether you are looking to buy, refinance, improve, or use the equity in your home, it’s important to know and understand your mortgage loan options. If you are dealing with a mortgage crisis and want to save your home from foreclosure, then it’s time for early delinquency intervention. learn more... |
Little Johnny
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?' and the punch ... |
The Potty
Billy, a little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book but about every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto to the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand. and the punch... |
Loyalty in Marriage
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.One day, he motioned for her to come nearer. and the punch... |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
Be careful when you use a post-dated check. Under the law, your bank may pay that check at any time, and you may bounce many other checks. My advice is never give someone a post-dated check. |
The Koala and The Lizard
Submitted by Joe Killingsworth of Floors Today.
A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said,'Hey Koala! What are you doing?'
The koala said, 'smoking a joint, come up and have some.' So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints. and the punch ... |
September 12 – Havana Daydreamin’, Thank you! – Clear Lake
On behalf of the Jeanette Williams Foundation, we would like to thank everyone who joined us for a wonderful evening of “Havana Daydreamin”. We, especially, want to send a note of sincere gratitude to our sponsors; who continue to support the Jeanette Williams Foundation; a foundation dedicated to cancer research and special projects for children. details ... |
Volunteers Needed for both of ICM’s Resale Shops
Interfaith Caring Ministries is very excited to announce that construction on our 2nd Resale Shop, located at 631 FM 270 in League City, is now complete and is open for business. This location is open Tuesday through Saturday from 10:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m.. The original Resale Shop is located at 118 West Bay Area Boulevard and is open Monday through Saturday from 10:00 a.m. until 7:00 p.m. Currently, both Shops are in need of volunteers ages 16 and over to help sort, straighten, and price donated items. If you are interested in volunteering, please contact Janey Nelson, Director of Volunteers, at (281) 332-3881 ext. 226.
further information ... |
SHOW OFF YOUR BAKING SKILLS!
Enter your favorite pie in the Oak Tree Festival's 1st Annual Pie Baking Contest.
RIBBONS & OTHER PRIZES AWARDED more details ...
|
The Chevrolet Avalanche
sent by Carol Fjelsta
A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream, 'Where did you get that truck???!!!' He calmly told them, 'I bought it today.' 'With what money?' demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost. and the punch... |
Krewe Babalu Needs Help – Galveston
Krewe Babalu needs your help. I got a call from the warehouse supervisor where we keep our two Mardi Gras floats; he had bad news. The company had been sold and the new owners weren’t interested in housing our two floats; we were being evicted. Krewe Babalu has one month to find a new home for our two floats.
The Krewe is putting out an SOS to locate someone on Galveston Island that has warehouse space we could use or rent for a reasonable amount. They can contact us through our website, krewebabalu.com. |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
Child support is not set in stone. If there has been a substantial change in circumstances, either party may go back to court and ask that the order be modified. |
One Big Ole Alligator Gar
Have a look at the size of this Gar caught by Beaux Nicolson over by South Shore Harbour Resort. It took about 15 minutes to wrestle this dude into the boat. Beaux used cut lady fish bait treble hooked, attached to a 50lb leader with 30lb string. The gar measured 5’10” (Beaux is 5’5”). more... |
Financial Tip of the Month
Follow the challenge by implementing AMOCO Federal Credit Union’s monthly financial tips into your life. The reward will be huge – a better financial future for you and your family! Step seven of building a better financial you: If you’re in the market for a vehicle, consider buying used. read on ... |
VARIETY JOKE
Reverend Boudreaux was the part-time pastor of the local Cajun Baptist Church and Pastor Thibodaux was the minister of the Covenant Church across the road.
They were both standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground, that read: 'Da End is Near Turn Yo Sef 'Roun Now Afore It Be Too Late!' and the punch ... |
 GALVESTON’S GRAND 1894 OPERA HOUSE TO PRESENT SMOKEY ROBINSON, SEPTEMBER 18
Smokey Robinson is the King of Motown! This multi-talented Rock and Roll Hall of Fame legend brings his legendary blend of grit, grace, rhythm and romance to Galveston on Friday, September 18, 2009 at 8 pm and kicks off the 2009-2010 star-studded Performing Arts Season at The Grand 1894 Opera House. Sponsored in part by Frost Bank and Holliday Builders, Robinson will deliver a solid-gold evening featuring his timeless renditions of your favorite hits, including “The Way You Do the Thing You Do,” “Ooo Baby Baby,” “The Tracks of My Tears,” and “I Second That Emotion.” there's more... |
Mount & Do
sent by Kevin L
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.
It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a ‘stiff one’. And obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, as it gives new meaning to "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". And the punch ... |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
Writing a check when you do not have enough money in the bank is criminal and criminal charges may be filed. Stopping payment on a check because you are dissatisfied with the goods or services purchased is not, provided the money would have been available to pay it if payment had not been stopped. |
Gramps
A woman in a grocery store happens upon a grandfather and his poorly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that Gramps has his hands full with the child screaming for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle, same for fruit, cereal and soda in their respective aisles.
Meanwhile, Gramps is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, Albert, we won't be long-- easy, boy." Another outburst, and she hears Gramps calmly say, "It's OK, Albert, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy." the punch ... |
August 22 - Hope Village and the Astros - Friendswood
 Family and friends gathered at Hope Village in Friendswood to participate in 2 of America's favorite past times: A BBQ Tailgate party and baseball.
Hope Village partnered with the Houston Astros for “Hope Village Night at the Ballpark”. For every ticket purchased Hope Village received a donation. Let's play ball!
Special thanks to the Friendswood Wal-Mart at El Dorado for partnering with us to provide groceries and supplies for the Tailgate Party. check out the photos... |
 Lunar Rendezvous Festival Presents 2009 Royal Court
The Lunar Rendezvous Festival recently announced the 2009 Queen, Queen Alternate and Captain during the Coronation Ball which was held at the San Luis Convention Center in Galveston. Coronation Ball Chairman, Kelly McCorkle Byrd, and Co-Chair Brandi Clariday Culp were delighted to have Retired Astronaut Bill McArthur serve as the evening’s emcee. read on... |
Why You Never Question A Drunk
sent by Stephen Whynot
I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
A 1 lb. package of bacon. and the punch... |
Stop the bull and saddle up to Butler Longhorn Museum
by Cindy Price
On August 13 my husband and I attended a reception at the Butler Longhorn Museum in League City. We were astounded at the amount of artifacts collected in this three-story structure, and at the quality of the exhibits already prepared.
I am a professional writer and a historian. I read carefully the placards for the exhibits at the Butler Longhorn Museum and found them to be well-written and professionally produced, rivaling the quality of any large city museum. there's more... |
Bay Area Houston Economic Partnership Business Development Update is In
by Barbara Cutsinger
This is the report you want to read if you are interested in what retail shops, restaurants, and services that are coming our way. It's also a great way to find out about infrastructure, new streets, and road widening. check it out... |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
You cannot prevent identity theft, but you can stop it from happening a second time. In Texas, victims of identity theft can place a security freeze on their account, preventing anyone from misusing their credit. www.peopleslawyer.net/SecurityFreeze.html |
The Elderly Couple
sent by Stephen Whynot
A couple in their nineties was having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. and the punch... |
Mexican Oysters
A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico.
While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served? the punch.. |
 Financial Tip of the Month
Follow the challenge by implementing AMOCO Federal Credit Union’s monthly financial tips into your life. The reward will be huge – a better financial future for you and your family!
Step six of building a better financial you: Back to School Savings. The most difficult thing to do this time of year is to avoid charging school clothes and supplies. Evaluate your budget situation – can you afford to shop without charging? learn more... |
Congressman Ron Paul hosts Texas BBQ Bash Aug. 15
Supporters from across the area will unite to meet Congressman Ron Paul on Aug. 15 for a Texas BBQ Bash at the Galveston Island Convention Center at the San Luis Resort. The BBQ will begin at 4:30 p.m. and will include a special pre-event “Lectures on Liberty” from 2-4 p.m. read on... |
Ole, The Furniture Dealer
Submitted By John Fjelsta
Ole, a furniture dealer from up at Brainerd MN, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he went to Paris to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris he selected furniture that would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. and the punch... |
Flotsam & Jetsam: Artists Respond to Hurricane Ike
Nassau Bay, TX. (July 30, 2009)…On September 13, 2008, Hurricane Ike disrupted the lives of residents throughout the Houston – Galveston area. To observe the anniversary of the storm, The Arts Alliance Center at Clear Lake is showcasing a juried and invitational exhibition of art, Flotsam & Jetsam—Artists Respond to Hurricane Ike, from August 20 through October 8, 2009. By definition flotsam is debris found floating or to have washed ashore, and jetsam is cargo cast overboard to lighten the load. read on... |
Those Texans
Submitted by Mike Getz
Gabriel went to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We have some Texans up here who are causing real problems. They're swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, and they are wearing T-shirts instead of their robes and there's barbecue and picante sauce all over everything. Their dogs are riding in the chariots and chasing the sheep and they’re wearing cowboy hats instead of their halos. They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean, and their boots are marking and scuffing up the halls of Wisdom. There are watermelon seeds and tortilla chip crumbs all over the place. Some of them are walking around with just one wing; and they insist on bringing their darn horses with them." and the punch... |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
A landlord has an obligation to change the locks on your doors whenever you request it. You may be charged the cost of making the change, but no additional fees. |
Nautical Term of the Day:
Bow: This is what you do in front of your banker when you are asking for more money to spend on your boat. As your boat will surely cost much more than what you initially asked for, it is imperative that you learn how to do this quickly.
Of course, the other option is to join Freedom Boat Club and spend about 1/3 of what you otherwise would! Also, visit our Facebook Page (Freedom Boat Club Clear Lake) to see the entire list of hilarious nautical terms.
The boat is waiting! For details, call Rodney Ray, Membership Director (832) 202.5325. |
 You Gotta Bout 2 Weeks
That’s right! 2 more weeks of home grown cantaloupes and watermelons. Not to mention the opportunity to meet Johnny Daro and his gang of melon growers. They have hundreds of Crimson Sweet watermelons ranging from 5-25 pounds (I personally noted that they seem to be walking a little cockeyed and may need some chiropractic attention). the rest... |
Cat Tails
Submitted by Tina Erdman
A blonde was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat which was hiding in the grass. She rushed her cat, along with the tail, over to WAL-MART! Why WAL-MART??
HELLOOOOOOOOO! WALMART is the largest re-tailer in the world!!! |
GCVA Junior Volleyball Club – Team Tryouts – League City
Gulf Coast Volleyball Association - You're Volleyball Club on the Other Coast. 2009/2010 CLUB TRY OUT'S
Still Only $25 and includes a GCVA T-Shirt
Tryout Location: Clear Lake Recreation Center, 16511 Diana Lane
(corner of Diana & Ramada off Bay Area Blvd.) details ... |
Daddy, how was I born?
Submitted by Kathy Stoll
A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?'
The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. and the punch ... |
Thru September 30 – Group Study Exchange in Brazil – Dickinson
The Rotary Club of Dickinson is seeking applicants for the 2009-2010 Group Study Exchange (GSE) to Sao Paulo, Brazil. The 5-person team will participate in an expense–paid trip to Brazil from May 4-31, 2010.
more ... |
 Freedom Boat Club of Clear Lake
The Freedom Boat Club of Clear Lake just added a new fishing boat to the fleet. For as low as $296 per month, you can start boating today! further information ... |
Vertical Tasting Invitation
Since Haak Vineyards & Winery began making its Texas Cabernet Sauvignon in 2000, Raymond Haak, has been storing each vintage in his special cellar library. This library was meant to be shared at some point in the future. details ... |
The Mayor’s Report – League City
by Toni Randall
One nice cool place to get out of the 100 degree temperatures is your City Council Chambers, where you can come and participate in our city government! And many citizens did come this week to express their opinion to Council and learn something about how the City works, in the process.
All of Council were present with the exception of Jim Nelson. more ... |
The Blonde Joke To End All Blonde Jokes
Submitted by John Fjelsta
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. and the punch ... |
EARN or BURN
Step five of building a better financial you:
Prepare for the future. Financial planning means preparing for your future by making informed money management decisions. There are many tools available that will help you achieve the security you desire - but none are as important as taking a steady and committed approach to funding your long-term goals for retirement and your children's education. more ... |
Clear Lake Texas H Friends - Clear Lake
Got herpes or HPV? You are not alone! Join Clear Lake Texas H Friends, a support group and social activity group for people with HSV (herpes simplex virus) or HPV (human papilloma virus/condyloma). details ... |
 2007 MALBEC
This 2007 Malbec is a perfect example of the lush inky style we all look for in this variety. Thick aromatics of creamy dark chocolate, black currants, sweet violets and ripe berries are laced all the way through to the finish with a web of complex spices. more ... |
The Driver’s License
Submitted by Carol Fjelsta
A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date.'Mommy,' the little girl asks, 'How old are you?'''Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied. 'It's not polite.'
'OK', the little girl says, 'How much do you weigh?'''Now really,' the mother says, 'those are personal questions and are really none of your business.' and the punch ... |
The Difference Between Heaven and Hell
A holy man was having a conversation with God one day and said, 'God, Iwould like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.' God led the holy man to two doors... see the rest ... |
The Italian Tomato Garden
Submitted By Steve Whynot
An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work as the ground was hard.
His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. and the punch ...
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 Haak Wine of the Week - 2004 Madeira Jacquez
The 2004 Texas Jacquez Madeira was made using the same process as for our 2003 Jacquez Madeira. The finished product is then taken out of the Estufa (oven) and allowed to rest in oak barrels until the need to bottle arises. This allows the Madeira to mature over a great length of time, gaining in complexity and character. Enjoy this dark, rich and heart-warming dessert wine with its aromas of coffee, caramel, walnuts, and spices. more ... |
FREE Workshop: CLAW
Clear Lake Area Writers is a writer's critique group. It meets the second and fourth Saturday from 10 a.m.-noon each month to share work with other writers, getting constructive criticism from each other. Participants need not be professional writers, but fictional prose is preferred to other forms of writing; though all are welcome, writers and critics alike. If help is needed crafting a tale, please consider joining Clear Lake Area Writers. It is here to help. For more information, please contact Jacob Silvia at jacob.silvia@gmail.com. To follow the group's blog, which contains helpful information about the group, please go to http://clearlakeareawriters.blogspot.com. |
Foreign Language Program strengthens business, personal skills
Planetary Science Institute research scientist Paul Abell often finds himself working with international colleagues because of his work with the Astromaterials Research and Exploration Science Directorate at NASA Johnson Space Center. So Abell thought he would strengthen his communication skills with his science partners by taking classes through University of Houston-Clear Lake’s Foreign Languages Program. more ... |
 Haak Wine of the Week -2003 Madeira Jacquez
Haak Vintage Madeira is made with 100 % Jacquez grapes, grown in the Gulf Coast Region of Texas. It is made using the traditional “Estufagem” (es too FAH jem) process, where the barrels of wine have been “madeirized” in a special, heated cellar. The temperatures of the wine in the Estufagem average between 102°F to 106°F. there's more ... |
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AMOCO’s Earn or Burn Money Challenge Update
Follow the challenge by implementing AMOCO Federal Credit Union’s monthly financial tips into your life. The reward will be huge – a better financial future for you and your family! more ... |
Two Hillbillies
Submitted by John Fjelsta
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is inreal distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says,
'Kin ya swallar?' The woman shakes her head no. the punch ... |
The Indian With One Testicle
There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'Onestone'. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, 'If anyone calls me Onestone again, I will kill them!'
One day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. the punch ... |
9 Months Later
by Kay Prettyman
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. and the punch... |
Why Golf Is Better Than Sex.....
#10... A below par performance is considered damn good.
#9... You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
#8... It's much easier to find the sweet spot. the punch... |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
If you die without a will, the law determines who will inherit your property. Only if there are no living heirs will it go to the state. In Texas, as a general rule, if you die without a will your property goes to your spouse, if you do not have a spouse, your children, if no children your parents, if they are not alive brothers and sisters, and so on. |
A Little Known Fact
sby Unknown (again)
The first athletic cup was used in cricket in 1874. The first helmet was used in sports in 1974.
It took 100 years for men to realize that their brain could also be important. |
AMOCO’s Earn or Burn Money Challenge Update
Tips on Balancing
Your Checkbook- While balancing your checkbook may seem like an easy
task, many of us tend to neglect our checking accounts due to the many
electronic services now available. For this reason, we continue to spend
and pay our bills only to find that we’ve run out of cash before our
next pay check is deposited.
So, what can you do to prevent this from happening? find out...Tips on Balancing Your Checkbook- While balancing your checkbook may seem like an easy task, many of us tend to neglect our checking accounts due to the many electronic services now available. For this reason, we continue to spend and pay our bills only to find that we’ve run out of cash before our next pay check is deposited.
So, what can you do to prevent this from happening? find out... |
 Haak Winery Wine of the Week
Pink Pelican is a crisp, semi-sweet wine that encompasses the warm gulf breezes that inspired it. With hints of salt cedar and sea spray in the bouquet, this wine finishes with the sweet glow of a Galveston Sunrise. This wine is a lighthearted, pink homage to the Brown Pelican, a native of the Gulf Coast. learn more... |
Nammy's Hint
So what is the best thing you can do with old battery-operated toys? Nammy knows…Play with them! Battery-operated toys should be run regularly to keep the parts working. And don’t forget to remove the batteries before storing your toys. |
THE LOVE STORY OF RALPH AND EDNA
by Wild Bill
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. and the punch... |
 May 16 - Bay Day Photography Contest Winner - Seabrook
This was a Photo Contest only for students in grades 7 through 10 in the Bay area. The contest improves awareness of Galveston Bay, as the photos must be taken in or nearby the Bay. Categories include Bay Views, Wildlife and Recreation. Photographs were judged by the public at the Bay Gazer Photo Contest booth at Bay Day 2009 at Kemah Boardwalk where the top entries will be displayed and ballots passed out. And the winner is: |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
If you buy a new car you have three days to change your mind, right? Wrong! Unless you have were misled, deceived, or otherwise tricked into signing the contract, once you sign you are bound. If you are not sure, don't sign. |
Marriage Quotes
sby Anonymous (for a good reason)
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. more quotes... |
AMOCO’s Earn or Burn Money Challenge Update
CodeePresley and Charles Little were accompanied by their financial coaches and interviewed by Debra Duncan live on May 6. Together they discussed month two of AMOCO’s Earn or Burn Money Challenge and how they implemented new financial tips to help with their monthly budget, expenses, debt management, and savings growth. more... |
 Haak Winery Wine of the Week Purple Porpoise NV - Red/Blush Wines
This wine will prove to be one of the most popular red wines at your dinner party. It has a medium body with hints of cherry and strawberry. Although it is similar in flavor and texture to a Rose’, the Purple Porpoise shows itself with a darker red color. learn more... |
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Nammy's Hint
Pots and Pans, Nammy Knows all about them. If your old cast-iron pan, that doesn’t have a wooden handle is dirty, clean it in a self-cleaning oven. Now how simple is that! And for that graniteware pot, Clean the inside by adding a teaspoon of baking soda, and bringing it to a boil. That Nammy sure is smart! |
What every man needs..
by Stephen B. Whynot
It's Just a Man Thing! Ladies don't even try to understand it! Click on link and check it out http://vimeo.com/1803735 |
Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart
sby Kenna Johnson
So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day.
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, Yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance...and the punch... |
5 Minute Chocolate Cake – Dangerously Delicious
sby Terri Cicherski
4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug (MicroSafe) and they go together like this... |
 Haak Vineyards & Winery's Stimulus Package
We don't want you to be "In the Red, we just want you to "drink Red"! Specifically Haak reds:Cabernet Sauvignon, Syrah, Tempranillo, Tres Tintos, Zinfandel...click here for more! |
The Wedding Night
Fred and Mary get married but they couldn't afford a honeymoon, so they went back to Fred's Mom and Dad's house, for their first night together. and the punch... |
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Nammy's Hint
One of Nammy’s favorite possessions is her Bakelite jewelry. So what is the best way to care for them? Nammy Knows…Bakelite needs special care. Avoid extreme heat sources like an electric stove or hot hair dryer. Wash by hand, never in a dishwasher. Also, take off your rings and bracelets before you start to wash figurines.. |
AMOCO’s Earn or Burn Money Challenge Update
Follow the challenge by implementing AMOCO Federal Credit Union’s monthly financial tips into your life. The reward will be huge – a better financial future for you and your family!
Step three of building of a better financial you: Balance your checkbook monthly and use your debit card responsibly. read on... |
 Haak Winery Wine of the Week - Tres Tintos NV
Tres Tintos is the union of three Mediterranean grape varietals: Tinta Cão, Touriga Nacional, and Bastardo. This marriage has produced a harmonious, supple wine that is elegantly structured. It exhibits characteristics of black cherry and mulberry discreetly blended, and has a dry, spicy lingering finish. Tres Tintos is made with the care and tradition of Mediterranean style winemaking. Tres Tintos is truly “A Taste of the Old World” made in Texas. Available for sale in Tasting Room and Online Only |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
"All sales final, no returns, no refunds and no exchanges" does not mean you are stuck with defective goods. Every merchant makes warranties as to the quality of what is sold. Language like "no refunds or exchanges" just means you cannot change you mind if you do not like what you bought. |
Good Sportsmanship
sby Carol Fjelsta
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 8-year-old baseball players aside and asked, 'Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?' Coleby nodded in the affirmative.'Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?' Coleby nodded yes. and the punch... |
Ole and Lena
by Paul F.
Ole, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota, takes a lightning-quick kick from a cow right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. and the punch... |
AMOCO Federal Credit Union
Making Progress - It's a tag team effort for the Little family as they juggle the responsibilities of school, studying, working and being parents. To help improve their financial situation, Charles and Tara have opted to purchase items in bulk and clip coupons. read on... |
 Haak Winery Wine of the Week
2004 Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon
This wine was made from Cabernet Sauvignon grapes. After crushing, the must was inoculated with cultured yeast and fermented on their skins for an extended period to maximize flavor and color extraction. learn more... |
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Nammy's Hint
Have you ever wondered what happens when the fat lady or any other vocalists sings? Nammy knows…Keep your collection of glassware away from the speakers of your sound system. Heavy bass and high pitched sounds can crack the glass. |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
Unwanted text messages can be both costly and annoying. Under the Controlling the Assault of Non-Solicited Pornography and Marketing (CAN-SPAM) Act, the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) created rules to prohibit unwanted commercial e-mail messages to wireless devices. If you're receiving unwanted messages, Click here for more. http://www.fcc.gov/cgb/consumerfacts/canspam.html |
Early Voting begins Monday!! Vote early
Early Voting Dates & Location (Early voting by personal appearance) click for times and places |
 Haak Winery Wine of the Week 2003 Zinfandel
This wine was made from Zinfandel grapes. They were crushed, cold soaked and then fermented at 85 F on their skins to extract maximum color and flavor. Fermentation was complete at the end of 6 days but pump over was continued for an additional 15 days to maximize the color extraction. After pressing and clarification, the wine was racked into oak barrels for aging. This wine exhibits aromas of Plum & Raspberry with a hint of Cherry, Herbal Tea & Toasted Oak. This is a dry wine. |
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Nammy's Hint
So when is looking old and showing your age better than looking fresh and clean? Nammy Knows…Never polish Arts and Crafts copper or pewter. Even if the green patina on a piece of Heinz Art is damaged, it is better than a cleaned piece. Original finish is important! |
Earn or Burn Money Challenge Update
Follow the Earn or Burn Money Challenge by implementing AMOCO Federal Credit Union’s monthly financial tips into your life. The reward will be huge – a better financial future for you and your family! Step two of building of a better financial you: Establish a $1,000 emergency savings fund. more... |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
It is illegal in Texas to charge more to someone who pays with a credit card. It is legal, however, to give a discount for cash. This discount is for the savings to the merchant who does not have to pay the fee that the credit card company charges (note: this law does not apply to governmental entities). |
A Senior Moment
sby Carol Fjelsta
A father, son and grandfather went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them.
She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that called him away, and asked the trio whether she could join them. Naturally, the guys all agreed. and the VERY FUNNY punch... |
Former Mayor Pat Hallisey is running for a position on City Council
Pat Hallisey is 59 and has been a League City Citizen for 35 years. He has been married to his wife Janice for 25 years, has two daughters. Kristi, who is married to Lt. Chad Martin, a current Naval Aviator, stationed aboard the USS Roosevelt, in the Arabian Sea. Ashley, who works locally, goes to school and teaches dance at local studios. learn more about Pat... |
Earn or Burn Money Challenge Update
AMOCO Federal Credit Union featured on Great Day Houston!Mark and Leanne LeDoux and Serena Ovalle appeared live on Great Day Houston Wednesday, April 15. Joined by their financial coaches, these two Earn or Burn families discussed their experiences during the first month of the challenge and how they struggled to adhere to a newly reduced budget, earned extra income to meet their monthly goals and adopted new “do-it-yourself” tasks like family haircuts. read on... |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
If you have reason to believe your personal information has been compromised and you may become a victim of identity theft, put in a fraud alert with the credit bureau. Federal law requires that the credit bureau keep this alert on your file for 90 days. Click here to find out how to learn more about preventing identity theft. Click here for more. |
 Keels & Wheels…Inside Scoop
The Steel Magnolia is a beautiful 76’ yacht crafted in 1971, in Britain by Fairmile Construction Company. Her hull and structure are twice as thick as other steel hulls and she was one of the last of nine steel yachts built by Fairmile. In August of 2008, the Steel Magnolia was tested and rated still to be in excellent condition. Her replacement value would be between 3.5 to 4 million dollars. |
 Haak Winery Wine of the Week 2006 TEMPRANILLO
This Texas Tempranillo shows its Spanish roots with its deep, velvety color. It exhibits aromas of blueberries, strawberries, and a hint of oak on the finish. learn more... |
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Nammy's Hint
I’m not exactly sure what graniteware is let along how to clean it but… Nammy Knows…Clean the inside of a graniteware pot by adding a teaspoon of baking soda, and bringing it to a boil. |
 Sunday, May 10 Don't Forget Mother's Day...
Mother's Day is just around the corner. Show Mom how much you appreciate her with a Day of Pampering just for her! Check out these awesome Mother's Day Spa Specials from BALANCE Bodywork & Skincare. Doesn't she deserve the very BEST? www.BalanceBodyworkAndSkincare.com |
Keels & Wheels Trivia
 Keels & Wheels…Did You Know? Carroll Shelby was Sports Illustrated’s Driver of the Year in 1956 & 1957. He has set 16 U.S. and International speed records and he has won a total of eight Championship races along with several non-Championship races. read on...
Shelby retired from racing in October 1959, where he went on to open up a high performance driving school; the Shelby American Company. |
Bubba and the Catholics
sby Paula Getz
Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But, all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic....And since it was Lent, they were forbidden to eat meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest. and the punch... |
Haak Winery Wine of the Week
2005 SYRAH This Texas Syrah is brilliant in color, and aromatic to the nose. This balanced wine exhibits dark fruit flavors like currants, plums and blackberry. It has a hint of wet earth and leather on the delicate finish. This is a dry wine. This Syrah was aged on new American Oak barrels to improve its aging potential and add toasted oak and soft tannins to its overall flavor profile. |
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Nammy's Hint
So exactly why is Eddie so creative? Nammy Knows…It is said creativity comes from a messy, cluttered environment. It inspires ideas. Remember that the next time you rearrange your collectibles. |
Yia Yia's Secret Recipes for the Greek Festival ** 1 week till the Greek Fest***
 For weeks ahead of time, our friends at St. John’s Theologian Church will be working many hours preparing traditional Greek foods for the Clear Lake Greek Festival, on April 24 - 26. Everything from chicken, shrimp, gyros, saganaki, dolmades and wonderful sweets galore will be ready and waiting to be consumed and enjoyed, by festival goers. Wanting to share their culture with everyone, each week, Yia Yia Eleni will be sending us one of her authentic Greek recipes; for all of us to try. YUMMY!! this weeks recipe:Greek Salad ~ Horiatiki Greek salad is a rough country salad of juicy tomatoes, crisp cucumber, sliced red onion, green pepper, crumbly feta cheese and plump kalamata olives. Serve this delightful combination as a side dish or as a light meal with some crusty bread. the rest...
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Earn or Burn Money Challenge Update
From saving money on their electric bill to reducing their cable bill, the LeDoux family, has been hard at work trimming expenses in their everyday life. As an Earn or Burn Money Challenge participant, the LeDouxs have also encouraged the youngest members of the family to participate in clipping coupons. It’s a great way to teach children about money and savings. Check out the website at www.earnorburn2009.com and see how Leanne LeDoux negotiated a lower rate from her electricity provider. |
 Do You Know Your Three Rs? Reduce, Reuse and Recycle. Part 3: Recycle In the last few weeks, our green tips have included the first two of the Three Rs, Reducing and Reusing items that can help you lessen your impact on the environment. Not only that, reducing and reusing items can save you money! If you perform the last of the Three Rs, Recycling, you can complete this loop and ensure that many items that you use can find new life as a usable product rather than become a wasted resource sitting in a landfill or even worse, littering our streets and waterways. What can you recycle? read on... |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
Texas has a lemon law. It applies to new cars, and gives you substantial legal rights against the manufacturer. A car is a lemon if it has been in the shop four or more times for the same problems, or two or more times if the problem is a safety defect. learn more... |
The Lonely Frog
by Kay Prettyman
An elderly lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed a pet to keep her company. So, off to the pet shop she went. She searched and searched. but none of the pets seemed to catch her interest, except an ugly frog. As she walked by the jar he was in, she looked and he winked at her. He whispered, I'm lonely too, buy me and take me home. You won't ever be sorry. and the punch... |
Who knew?
Did you know that drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional pain relievers? |
Earn or Burn Money Challenge Update
AMOCO Federal Credit Union wants tospread the message that they are here to help improve the financial lives of their members and the surrounding communities. Each month they will provide a financial tip that is designed to help get your finances back on track. the rest... |
They Are Finally Together
by Paula Getz
Judy got married and had 13 children. Her first husband, Ted, died of cancer.
She married again, and she & Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later.
Judy *again*, remarried and this time, she & John had 5 more children. and the punch... |
Yia Yia's Secret Recipes for the Greek Festival ** 2 Weeks till the Greek Fest***
For weeks ahead of time, our friends at St. John’s Theologian Church will be working many hours preparing traditional Greek foods for the Clear Lake Greek Festival, on April 24 - 26. Everything from chicken, shrimp, gyros, saganaki, dolmades and wonderful sweets galore will be ready and waiting to be consumed and enjoyed, by festival goers. Wanting to share their culture with everyone, each week, Yia Yia Eleni will be sending us one of her authentic Greek recipes; for all of us to try. YUMMY!! this weeks recipe:
 Greek Butter Cookies ~ Kουραμπιέδες
In Greek: κουραμπιέδες, pronounced koo-rah-bee-YEH-thess
These melt-in-your-mouth cookies are a tradition at holidays and celebrations. Kourabiethes are a shortbread-type cookie that can be made with or without almonds, and shaped with a cookie cutter, as well. Don't skimp on the sugar dusting! Prep Time: 30 minutes Cook Time: 30 minutes the rest... |
Keels & Wheels…Did You Know?
When Harry Zachau was 6 years old, when his father Wayne took him deer hunting in Havre, Montana. That fall, they ran across an old abandoned barn with a couple of old cars inside. It was then that Harry first laid eyes on his future 1928 Studebaker. The original car title erroneously labeled the automobile a 1929 but, in reality; it is a 1928 FB President State Cabriole. there's more... |
 Haak Winery Wine of the Week
2007 Blanc du Bois Port
A one of a kind white port with aromas reminiscent of vanilla custard, walnuts, whipped cream and white chocolate with a flavor similar to vanilla wafers, caramel and good southern banana pudding. learn more... |
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Nammy's Hint
Here’s a clever tip where old meets new. So how do you get that old cotton thread into a needle? It can be hard to thread a needle, especially with the old pure cotton thread that should be used for repairing old fabric. Put hairspray on the end of the thread to stiffen it. |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
In Texas, it is unlawful for a business to charge more to someone who uses a credit card. On the other hand, it is legal to give a discount for someone who pays cash. Why? Credit card companies discount the amount they pay a merchant when you pay with a credit card. A store receives "more" when a customer pays cash. Giving a discount to cash customers is a way to treat both cash and credit card customers the same. |
Easter Cookies - To be made the evening before Easter
by Melissa Deflora
1cup whole pecans
1tsp vinegar
3 egg whites
pinch salt
1 cup sugar
zipper baggie
wooden spoon
Tape
Bible Special note from Eddie-These are GOOD!! My Granny made these, but she added chocolate chips.
the rest... |
Grandma’s Boyfriend
sby Steve Whynot
A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, 'Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?' and the punch... |
Keels & Wheels Trivia
WaterCar
For over thirty years Dave March has been an avid high performance car and boat enthusiast. He was looking for a challenge when his youngest son expressed an interest in amphibious vehicles. Together, they restored a 1964 Amphicar. It was fun to drive into the water but once in it traveled at a top speed of just 7mph. Dave discovered there had been a number of amphibious vehicles constructed through the years but no one had successfully built one capable of operating at high speed in both the water and on land. learn more... |
Earn or Burn Money Challenge Update
Serna Ovalle, an Earn or Burn Money Challenge participant, has experienced highs and lows over the past several weeks. She needs to replace a broken water heater in her home but maintains a positive spirit, thanks in large part to her family and friends. Here’s an update on Serena and her determination to create a better financial future! |
 Haak Winery Wine of the Week
2008 RESERVE Blanc du Bois
Our Reserve Blanc du Bois was transferred to the cellar into toasted oak barrels for fermentation. Near the end of primary fermentation, the wine was inoculated with secondary cultured yeast to complete a malo-lactic fermentation. This secondary fermentation converts harsher malic acid into lactic acid. This conversion softens the mouthfeel and adds additional taste descriptors like butter, and cream. learn more... |
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Nammy's Hint
So if you’re going to get caught with your hand in the cookie jar what should you do? Hold a map cloth…“Cold-painted” items like some glass and porcelain, especially cookie jars, should never be put in a dishwasher. Just wipe them with a damp cloth. And please don’t soak old ceramic pieces, including cookie jars, in water for a long time. Old repairs may be loosened. |
Yia Yia's Secret Recipes for the Greek Festival
 For weeks ahead of time, our friends at St. John’s Theologian Church will be working many hours preparing traditional Greek foods for the Clear Lake Greek Festival, on April 24 - 26. Everything from chicken, shrimp, gyros, saganaki, dolmades and wonderful sweets galore will be ready and waiting to be consumed and enjoyed, by festival goers. Wanting to share their culture with everyone, each week, Yia Yia Eleni will be sending us one of her authentic Greek recipes; for all of us to try. YUMMY!! this weeks recipe-
Iced Coffee ~ Greek Frappe
2 tsp NESCAFE Classic
2 tsp sugar
Ice cubes
the rest... |
Tartrate Instability In Wines
by Haak Vineyards & Winery
 Quite often in wines, a solid precipitate falls out of the wine and is visible in the bottle. It is understandably disturbing, especially if you don’t know what it is or where it came from. It is very common to find these crystals in many of the wines that are imported from Europe and other wine producing countries. When these crystals fall out they have the same color of the wine that they were in, that is, red wines have red crystals and white wines have white crystals. Since wines are stored with corks lower than the bottom of the bottle, it is common to find these crystals at the top or neck of the bottle or attached to the cork. learn more... |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
Don't sign a contract to buy a car unless you are sure it is the car you want to purchase. Contrary to what many people believe, the law does not give you three days to change your mind. Once you sign, you are legally bound. |
The Mayors Report, March 24, 2009
by Mayor Toni Randall
The invocation was given by Pastor John Newsome of Bay Harbour United Methodist Church. All Council persons were present. We had a special treat with the Clear Creek Wildcat ROTC team leading us in both the national and the Texas Pledge of Allegiance. I was delighted to present a proclamation to the group, declaring March 26th as the "Clear Creek Wildcat ROTC Day," for their completion of the Texas Independence Relay. This Relay, that was 203 miles from Gonzales to LaPorte, marked the route of the Texas Independence fighters, who departed from Gonzales on October 2, 1835. Our ROTC completed the 40 leg relay in two days, the only one of 150 teams to finish. Congratulations, kids! there's more... |
Renew & Rejuvenate this Spring
S P R I N G is here and it's time to Renew & Rejuvenate with one of these fabulous Spa Packages. The Renewal Package includes a Refresher Facial, Body Balancing 1/2 hour Massage and Good for the Sole Foot Treatment. Renew yourself in 1-1/2 hours for the special price of $105. Rejuvenation Package includes a Radiant Glow Body Polish, Body Balancing 1 hour Massage and Instant Radiance Refresher Facial - you will look and feel Rejuvenated with glowing skin and relaxed muscles. This package lasts 2 hours for the special price of $140. Make you appointment today (281) 222-2396 or www.BalanceBodyworkAndSkincare.com |
Who Knew?
Did you know that drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional pain relievers |
Haak Winery Wine of the Week
 2008 Blanc du Bois (Dry) Green Label
This Premium wine is made from the Blanc du Bois wine grape variety grown in the Coastal Regions of Texas. These grapes were hand harvested in the cool morning hours. The grapes were whole cluster pressed, inoculated with cultured yeast, and fermented at 55F to retain the fruit flavors that are characteristic of this variety. the rest... |
 Yia Yia's Secret Recipes for the Greek Festival
For weeks ahead of time, our friends at St. John’s Theologian Church will be working many hours preparing traditional Greek foods for the Clear Lake Greek Festival, on April 24 - 26. Everything from chicken, shrimp, gyros, saganaki, dolmades and wonderful sweets galore will be ready and waiting to be consumed and enjoyed, by festival goers. Wanting to share their culture with everyone, each week, Yia Yia Eleni will be sending us one of her authentic Greek recipes; for all of us to try. YUMMY!! this weeks recipe... Greek Meatballs ~ Keftdes get the rest... |
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Nammy's Hint
So what in the world do you do with Gramma’s pressed glass banana stand? Well of course, you put it in the bathroom! Seriously, use it to hold rolled up hand towels. It’s charming, it’s creative and Gramma will love you for it. |
Earn or Burn Money Challenge Update
AMOCO’s Earn or Burn Money Challenge participants are getting serious about reaching their financial goals. From clipping coupons to having garage sales, here’s an update on the Presleys and their dedication to creating a better financial future for their family: “Things are actually going pretty great here. We've been doing a lot of coupon clipping (even Fred has joined in). read on.... |
Catholic School
sby Wild Bill
Little Zachary was doing quite badly in math. His atheist parents had tried everything; tutors, mentors, flash cards, Special Learning Centers; in short, everything they could think of to help his math. and the punch... |
Clear Springs Best Buddies
 by Haley Harper
Best Buddies is a non-profit organization dedicated to enhancing the lives of people with intellectual disabilities by providing opportunities for one-to-one friendships and integrated employment. Founded in 1989 by Anthony K. Shriver, Best Buddies is a vibrant, international organization that has grown from one original chapter to more than 1,300 middle school, high school, and college campuses across the country and internationally. find out more... |
 Yia Yia's Secret Recipes for the Greek Festival
For weeks ahead of time, our friends at St. John’s Theologian Church will be working many hours preparing traditional Greek foods for the Clear Lake Greek Festival, on April 24 - 26. Everything from chicken, shrimp, gyros, saganaki, dolmades and wonderful sweets galore will be ready and waiting to be consumed and enjoyed, by festival goers. Wanting to share their culture with everyone, each week, Yia Yia Eleni will be sending us one of her authentic Greek recipes; for all of us to try. YUMMY!! this week's recipe is Shrimp with Feta Cheese - Garides me Fetto get the rest... I'm cookin' this tonight! |
Who knew?
Rainy day cure for dog odor: Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog smell springtime fresh. |
Nammy's Hint
Don’t use sticky-tape to hold the top on a teapot. When you pull the tape off, the decoration may come off with the tape. Instead secure the teapot top with dental adhesive or earthquake wax. learn more... |
Will the Music End for the Taxes Two Step?
by Cheryl Johnson
You have not heard from me in quite a while. I have been rather busy since the election. All election related efforts were completed in December (provisional ballots validated, counted, run-off conducted, etc.), we collected and disbursed over $350 million in 2008 property taxes, mailed 40,000 “friendly” reminder notices and 5,000 installment payment coupons with envelopes (for our seniors, disabled customers, and those taking advantage of the disaster installment option), and ran our daily business of selling stickers and registering voters, etc. more from Cheryl... |
Ray & Bubba
by Carol Fjelsta
Ray & Bubba were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.'
We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole,' said Bubba, 'but we don't have a ladder.' The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, and announced, 'Eighteen feet, six inches,' and walked away. and the punch... |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
Starting a new business can be risky, and the type of business determines your individual liability. If you run a business in your own name, or as a partnership, you are responsible for all the liabilities of the business. To protect yourself, consider operating the business as a corporation or limited liability company. An attorney can help you make the right choice. |
Senior Driving
by Wild Bill
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate. Please be careful!" and the punch.. |
Speed Dating Parties
 It’s March and Spring Time is here!! Winter is over and it’s time again to get out and do all those activities you wanted to do, and finding someone to do those activates with is the first priority!! We at Dating Parties want to help you find that special someone!!! We have Speed Dating Parties all over the Clear Lake area. We provide Speed Dating Events for everyone, all ages 21 and up. Visit our website: www.datingparties.com for an event near you, or contact us at 713-816-6962.
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Nammy's Hint
Paper must “breath.” Don’t keep it in a sealed package. It will eventually become moldy. Don’t store paper collectibles in photograph albums with black pages. The acidic paper will cause damage. |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
Federal law allows you to withhold payment from your credit card company if the goods you purchase never arrive. But you must act quickly. Under the law, you must dispute your bill within 60 days of when it is sent. Read the back of your credit card statement for details on disputing a debt. Wait too long and you lose you rights! |
Who knew?
Kills fleas instantly... Dawn Dishwashing Liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Good-bye fleas. |
Free tickets available for Dragpalooza
by NGCCC
We have a bunch of free tickets (2-day pass) for the National Guard Dragpalooza V for this and Saturday March 6th & 7th if anyone wants some. Location: Houston Raceway Park in Baytown. Courtesy of Taylor Automotive. Tickets will be available in the North Galveston County Chamber Office or at Taylor Automotive on Hwy. 3 in Dickinson. |
Sunday morning March 8, 2009 YOUR DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME REMINDER
by Jim Nelson
Remember to set your clocks AHEAD one hour, on the Saturday night before or the Sunday morning of March 8, 2009. In the United States and Canada, clocks officially move one hour ahead at 2 a.m. on Sunday morning March 8, 2009 (so that 2 a.m. becomes 3 a.m.). Under the extended DST plan that began two years ago, DST begins on the 2nd Sunday of March and ends on the 1st Sunday of November. learn more... |
Nurses aren't supposed to laugh
sby Paul Fjelsta
"Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional nurse. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient." "Okay then," Chad said and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest man thingy the nurse had ever seen. and the punch... |
Who knew?
Eliminate ear mites. All it takes is a few drops of Wesson Corn Oil in your cat or dog's ear... massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for 3 days. The oil soothes the animal's skin, smothers the mites, and accelerates healing. |
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Nammy's Hint
Rubber cement solvent, available at art and office supply stores, has many uses. Put a few drops on a paper towel and rub off ink smudges, adhesive tape glue, or label glue from glass or porcelain. |
After 44 Years of Bliss
by Carol Fjelsta
After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, 'Honey, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old gal. and the punch... |
Tax Season, Blue Jeans and Slippers, & Tax Office Receives Excellent Service Award
by Cheryl Johnson
Wow! What a tax season we had. Thanks to an awesome team effort, all timely tax payments were posted Monday, February 9th—beating our own record by 3 days! Yeah!!! Thank you Danielle for keeping the temps highly motivated and thanks team for being so efficient every day with both customers and mail! read on... |
The People’s Lawyer’s Tip of the Day
If you do not have a will, the law writes one for you. For example, if you are married and have children from another marriage, your children and their step-mother may share your property after your death. The best way to make sure your property goes to whom you want after your death is to have a will. A will can also avoid time and expense when it comes to probate. |
Assistance League® of the Bay Area
Have you ever wondered what Assistance League® of the Bay Area does in our community? I am asked this question quite frequently and I am proud to answer we make a difference in our community by volunteering hours to help children and elderly individuals who also call the Bay Area home. read on... |
